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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Dog
Engines
Tree
Hanging
Feet
Tall
Break
Foot
Morning
Chains
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Grass
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Gun
Chain
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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