Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tree
Hanging
Feet
Tall
Break
Foot
Morning
Chains
Lives
Criminals
House
Grass
Engine
Kind
Gun
Chain
Dog
Engines
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
Jeff Foxworthy
