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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Married
Football
Game
Either
Games
Antique
Bigs
Antiques
Ever
Shopping
Gay
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
Jeff Foxworthy
I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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