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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Game
Either
Games
Antique
Bigs
Antiques
Ever
Shopping
Gay
Married
Football
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
Jeff Foxworthy
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
