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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Games
Antique
Bigs
Antiques
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Shopping
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Football
Game
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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