Quote

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

Jeff Foxworthy

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Keys
High
School
Together
Never
Janitor
Owned
Crap
Tonight

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Image
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
Jeff Foxworthy