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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Crap
Tonight
Keys
High
School
Together
Never
Janitor
Owned
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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