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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Never
Janitor
Owned
Crap
Tonight
Keys
High
School
Together
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
Jeff Foxworthy
I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Jeff Foxworthy
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
