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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
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Voice Actor
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Atlanta
Georgia
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
Jeff Foxworthy
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Jeff Foxworthy
I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
