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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Years
Comics
Usually
Careers
Long

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
Jeff Foxworthy
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy