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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Comics
Usually
Careers
Long
Years

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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