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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hey
Piece
Paper
Hold
Pieces
Tell
Like
Jeff
People
Pens

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
Jeff Foxworthy