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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Pieces
Tell
Like
Jeff
People
Pens
Hey
Piece
Paper
Hold

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
Jeff Foxworthy