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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Piece
Paper
Hold
Pieces
Tell
Like
Jeff
People
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Hey

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy