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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
People
Pens
Hey
Piece
Paper
Hold
Pieces
Tell
Like
Jeff

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Jeff Foxworthy