Quote

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Streets
Nobody
Greater
Back
Pittsburgh
Look
Veins
Looks
Maps
Like
Legs
Street

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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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