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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Looks
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Toyota
Juicy
Thighs
Hood
Aren
White
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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