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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
White
Look
Looks
Like
Toyota
Juicy
Thighs
Hood
Aren

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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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