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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
White
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Looks
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Toyota
Juicy
Thighs
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Aren
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy