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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Help
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House
Richest
Helping
Redneck
Might
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Wheels
Bought

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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