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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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House
Richest
Helping
Redneck
Might
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Take
Wheels
Bought

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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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