Quote

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Sister
Paint
Honor
Water
Hauled
Ever
Tower
Might
Redneck
Towers
Defend

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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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