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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Outhouse
Redneck
Park
Parks
Nice
State
Wish
States
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
