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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Episodes
Texas
Changed
Ranger
Might
Walker
Life
Walkers
Rangers
Episode

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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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