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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Episode
Redneck
Episodes
Texas
Changed
Ranger
Might
Walker
Life
Walkers
Rangers
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Jeff Foxworthy
