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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Walker
Life
Walkers
Rangers
Episode
Redneck
Episodes
Texas
Changed
Ranger

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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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