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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Somebody
Might
Redneck
Hits
Floor
Girlfriend

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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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