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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hits
Floor
Girlfriend
Somebody
Might
Redneck

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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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