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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Hits
Floor
Girlfriend
Somebody
Might

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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