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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Car
Empty
Rest
Stop
Redneck
Might
Area
Beer
Areas

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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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There's no down time any more.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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