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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Beer
Areas
Car
Empty
Rest
Stop
Might
Redneck
Area

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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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