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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Declines
Mattresses
Redneck
Decline
Salvation
Army
Might
Mattress

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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