Quote

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Jeff Foxworthy

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Mattresses
Redneck
Decline
Salvation
Army
Might
Mattress
Declines

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Image
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
Jeff Foxworthy