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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Army
Might
Mattress
Declines
Mattresses
Redneck
Decline
Salvation
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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