Quote

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Decline
Salvation
Army
Might
Mattress
Declines
Mattresses

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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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