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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Tanks
Present
Getting
Might
Septic
Pumped
Tank
Anniversary
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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