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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hitch
Ambulance
Trailer
Trailers
Redneck
Locals
Local
Might

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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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