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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Redneck
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Southern
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War
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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