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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Relative
Southern
Civil
General
Living
War
Might
Redneck
Named

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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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