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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Trials
Test
Tests
Taste
Bigs
Might
Think
Redneck
Thinking
Trial

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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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There's no down time any more.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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