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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Think
Redneck
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Trial
Trials
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Taste
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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