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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Redneck
Thinking
Trial
Trials
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Tests
Taste
Bigs
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy