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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Coffee
Used
Cable
Might
Cables
Telephone
Redneck
Telephones
Table
Tables

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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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