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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Gallons
Redneck
Birthday
Dad
Give
Might
Giving
Gallon

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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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