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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Giving
Gallon
Gallons
Redneck
Birthday
Dad
Give
Might

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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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