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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Months
Days
Might
Redneck
Good
Deed
Hiding
Month
Deeds
Brother

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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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