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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Months
Days
Might
Redneck
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Hiding
Month
Deeds
Brother
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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