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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Wait
Walk
Walks
Mistletoe
Stand
Ellen
Waiting
Granny
Might
Redneck
Cousin
Christmas
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy