Quote

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Flying
Lows
Danger
Might
Antenna
Airplanes
Redneck
Truck
Airplane

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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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