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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Ships
Case
Cases
Came
Free
Refer
Might
Redneck
Time
Ship
Oil

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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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