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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Oil
Ships
Case
Cases
Came
Free
Refer
Might
Redneck
Time
Ship

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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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