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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Components
Soap
Rope
Except
Might

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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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