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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Rope
Except
Might
Redneck
Components
Soap

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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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