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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Cold
Leave
Keep
Best
Might
Way
Redneck
Things
Ems
Shade

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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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