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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Ever
Governors
Might
Sat
Entire
Loved
Waiting
Redneck
Call
Spare
Family
Governor
Around
Spares

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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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