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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Loved
Waiting
Redneck
Call
Spare
Family
Governor
Around
Spares
Ever
Governors
Might
Sat
Entire

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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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