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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Entire
Loved
Waiting
Redneck
Call
Spare
Family
Governor
Around
Spares
Ever
Governors
Might
Sat
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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