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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Redneck
Display
Bought
Gift
Might
Prominently

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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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