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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Display
Bought
Gift
Might
Prominently
Redneck

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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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