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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Might
Prominently
Redneck
Display
Bought
Gift

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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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