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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Firsts
Doin
First
Redneck
Every
Hey
Time
Mouth
Mouths
Friends
Words
Might
Howdy
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
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