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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Quit
Quitting
Opening
Father
Rack
School
Racks
Might
Encourages
Larry
Redneck

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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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