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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Larry
Redneck
Quit
Quitting
Opening
Father
Rack
School
Racks
Might
Encourages
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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